'Twin Memories'

4ft x 3ft (plus scrolls attached) Painting: Wood, Wood Carving, Nails, Scrolls, Pencil, Paint.


Memories are something that we all have. They are implants on ourselves, and affect us immensely in our day to day lives. They can be triggered instantly by the sight of something that we associate with a past time. They help us to grow friendships, affections and personalities. When we hear a song on the radio that triggers a happy memory of a certain place or time, we will like the song more, no matter how good or bad it is. Likewise, it works for other emotions and physical feelings. We can even feel sick at the sight of something that we see, that may not be necessarily disgusting itself, but what memory we have associated with it will in turn make it revolting to us. Then there is the other related matter of de ja vus. We can experience this sensation at any given moment, and can last for no set duration. It is an experience of reliving an event, or moment in time that we are sure we have already previously. We recognise everything that is going on, but we cannot describe what it is that we is recognisable, nor can we trace back where or when we have had the identical experience. Where memories are stored, or why we only select certain memories from others is something that is really interesting also. It is almost like a cinema in our own mind, replaying the film of previous recordings.

For this piece, I wanted to focus on the aspect of selective memory. I wanted to write on the two scrolls about memories that I had associating my twin brother. One of the scrolls would be my recollections of memories of him, from as early back as I could remember. The other would be the same, only about myself. I intentionally did not try to trigger any memories prior to beginning the task, as I wanted it to be spontanious, thus making it as valid as possible to my normal state. It therefore became part performance, part painting.

It was a really fascinating experience! I started off writing on his scroll first, but soon found that it would be impossible to try and proceed to only concentrate on one scroll at a time, as when I would remember something on one scroll it would instantly trigger a memory for the other. Also, what developed was a crazy pinball style of memory, where I would be recollecting memories and all of a sudden I would remember something that belonged much further back up the scroll, therefore having to go back and squeezing it in where it belonged. This pattern never changed throughout the whole performance, and I soon began to feel myself becoming affected mentally by the sheer concentration on recollecting memories and pressure on my brain having to work so hard. It was not long before I ran out of scroll to write memories that I had. This experience amazed me, as it really made me think about how much must be stored within me, that is lying their without my knowing and what else could be in their also.

For the painting aspect of the piece, it was partially inspired by Jack Kerouac's 'On The Road' (which I was reading at the time). He produced the original manuscript on one single scroll measuring 120 feet. Kerouac produced the continuous scroll by taping pages of semi-translucent paper together to feed the typewriter and write without interruption. The text is single-spaced, without paragraphs, and edited in pencil by Kerouac. I wanted to use this free-flowing style, as it was relevant and essential for the piece. I would then attach the scrolls to the painting, which hung form the wall, and have it spilling over the balcony of the exhibition space from where it would be exhibitied. This would symbolize the idea of memories being vast and flowing. Ideally, I would have like to use longer scroll, so long that it would appear as madness. But this is something that I can take into my future work regarding the topic.

'Home Sweet Home'

Installtion: Wallpaper, Carpet, Wood, Magazine/Newspaper Cut Outs, Colouring In Books, Power Socket, Tyres, Tin Cans, Ladders, Wire, Photgraph, Model, Chair, Paint Pots, Nails, Door, Pencil, Coffee, Wine, Ink, Dirt, Rust, Hair, Dust, Paint.

'Home Sweet Home' was a really important piece for me, as it reflected a lot of the thoughts and feelings that I felt at the time, but also revolutionized my approach to my work. I had only recently discovered Allan Kaprow, who's work really opened my eyes in terms of what art can be and how we can bring art and life closer together. Kaprow believed that art was life and that life was art. Through his work, he tried to show people the world that was going on around them, even the minute and mundane. At this point, I had only really encountered his enviroments, without much knowledge about his happenings, interventions and actions (this I would later go on to discover). His 'unart' style really jumped out at me, I loved how he would use materials that were considered to be waste, or expendable. For me, this made the work more accessible, as it was objects that we all used and had some relation to. Also, the fact that people were invited to enter the work, become submerged by it and part of it was really interesting, as I favour this approach to that of having to stand back from a piece and be scared to touch it or even go near it.

I drew meanings from previous works, like 'Broken Home' and 'Twin Memories', where I wanted to focus on personal experiences and memories. My home situation had changed drastically over the period of a year, and I soon began to find that my studio space felt more like my 'home' than anywhere else. The fact that, this 'space' was not technically my own, as it belonged to the Edinburgh College of Art, and there were rules and regulations about what I could do to the space was something that affected me. The matter of ownership was what I wanted to try and communicate. I wanted to tell everybody that this was my home and there was nothing that they could do to alter that, almost like a squatter.

I began by gathering materials that I could find, which I would be able to make a home out of. Such things like, wallpaper, carpet, a door and photographs. Then I wanted things that made the space homely for me, such as tyres, ladders, tin cans, paint pots and other such materials. I then began to make my home by covering the walls with wallpaper, posters, drawings, paint and writings. The writings were of personal thoughts and feelings, trying to in a sense stamp myself upon the space. The floor I covered with carpet and wooden planks, trying to make it comfortable for myself and taking the conceptual design of a home into consideration. It all came together to create a space that felt more like home for me than anywhere had before, in it I felt safe and relaxed. At home. Once finished and satisfied with the piece, I held a 'house warming/party', where I invited people to come into my home and look at the piece more closely, all the while trying to make them feel at home.

It was a sad day when I had to 'move out'. The funny thing was that when I cleared the space, you could clearly see the ruins of what had been my home. It had stains of my decoration and still had the more important aspect that it held memories for me that no one could take away from me.

'Broken Home'

70cm x 90cm Collage: Cardboard, Duck Tape, Photograph, Paper, Magazine Cut Outs, Paint, Oil Pastel.

5ft x 4ft Collage: Card, Cardboard, Bubble wrap, Bed Sheets, Paint Lids, Paint Tubes, Paint.

2ft x 4ft Collage: Wood, Cardboard, Binbags, Bubblewrap, Card, Paint.

2ft x 5ft Collage: cardboard, binbags, bedsheets, card and paint.