'Twin Memories'

4ft x 3ft (plus scrolls attached) Painting: Wood, Wood Carving, Nails, Scrolls, Pencil, Paint.


Memories are something that we all have. They are implants on ourselves, and affect us immensely in our day to day lives. They can be triggered instantly by the sight of something that we associate with a past time. They help us to grow friendships, affections and personalities. When we hear a song on the radio that triggers a happy memory of a certain place or time, we will like the song more, no matter how good or bad it is. Likewise, it works for other emotions and physical feelings. We can even feel sick at the sight of something that we see, that may not be necessarily disgusting itself, but what memory we have associated with it will in turn make it revolting to us. Then there is the other related matter of de ja vus. We can experience this sensation at any given moment, and can last for no set duration. It is an experience of reliving an event, or moment in time that we are sure we have already previously. We recognise everything that is going on, but we cannot describe what it is that we is recognisable, nor can we trace back where or when we have had the identical experience. Where memories are stored, or why we only select certain memories from others is something that is really interesting also. It is almost like a cinema in our own mind, replaying the film of previous recordings.

For this piece, I wanted to focus on the aspect of selective memory. I wanted to write on the two scrolls about memories that I had associating my twin brother. One of the scrolls would be my recollections of memories of him, from as early back as I could remember. The other would be the same, only about myself. I intentionally did not try to trigger any memories prior to beginning the task, as I wanted it to be spontanious, thus making it as valid as possible to my normal state. It therefore became part performance, part painting.

It was a really fascinating experience! I started off writing on his scroll first, but soon found that it would be impossible to try and proceed to only concentrate on one scroll at a time, as when I would remember something on one scroll it would instantly trigger a memory for the other. Also, what developed was a crazy pinball style of memory, where I would be recollecting memories and all of a sudden I would remember something that belonged much further back up the scroll, therefore having to go back and squeezing it in where it belonged. This pattern never changed throughout the whole performance, and I soon began to feel myself becoming affected mentally by the sheer concentration on recollecting memories and pressure on my brain having to work so hard. It was not long before I ran out of scroll to write memories that I had. This experience amazed me, as it really made me think about how much must be stored within me, that is lying their without my knowing and what else could be in their also.

For the painting aspect of the piece, it was partially inspired by Jack Kerouac's 'On The Road' (which I was reading at the time). He produced the original manuscript on one single scroll measuring 120 feet. Kerouac produced the continuous scroll by taping pages of semi-translucent paper together to feed the typewriter and write without interruption. The text is single-spaced, without paragraphs, and edited in pencil by Kerouac. I wanted to use this free-flowing style, as it was relevant and essential for the piece. I would then attach the scrolls to the painting, which hung form the wall, and have it spilling over the balcony of the exhibition space from where it would be exhibitied. This would symbolize the idea of memories being vast and flowing. Ideally, I would have like to use longer scroll, so long that it would appear as madness. But this is something that I can take into my future work regarding the topic.